Gunston Legal We clean up the Gunstons fucking mess.
Meet The Team:
Adam Stiengold
Team Jew Rape
My name is Adam Steingold. I am one of the lawyers employed here at Team Gunston. I have never been paid one fucking dollar. I don't think any of the lawyers here have. By the way, I would like to apologize for the highly offensive "team name" above. That idiot Trevor Gunston came in one day in his retarded broken white ute and ordered at us "gunpoint" to type these stupid bloody "team names" under our names. Not only do I not even have a "team", and not only have I never been paid by these cunts, but I suspect the "gun" was a plastic toy from the novelty section of The $2 Shop.
The truth is the Gunstons locked all of us in some empty office space and forced us to subsist on lollies from the vending machine all week. Then on Friday night we're let out but on Monday morning Trevor the cock comes back around in his bloody ute, bashes us in the nutsacks, chucks us in the back of the ute, and we're imprisoned in the office space again. PLEASE SEND HELP.
- Adam.
Michelle Johnson
Team Birth Hatch
My name is Michelle Johnson and I am a lawyer at Gunston Legal. PLEASE GOD, SEND HELP. The things they make us do are horrifying. Yesterday I had to sue some random person from the fucking phone book because Wayne Gunston "lost" someone's "ballsack" during a "hart operation (sic) " at their horror house clinic on the outskirts of Woolongong. He said he "wanted to take the heat off". What? "Take the heat off" who? Did he even tell anybody about losing someone's testicles while performing heart surgery? I don't know, I think he's watched too many crazy movies. Anyway, I just do what I'm told. I think they might have my mother.
- Michelle.
Thomas Green
Team Nappies Face
My name is Thomas Green and I am the Gunston Head of Team Nappies Face. Trevor Gunston himself named my team even though I don't even have a team I don't think. I am forced to wear adult diapers over the top of my trousers. I think it might be some sort of hazing ritual. I am prepared to start at the bottom so I will put up with this weird initiation rite. At least I'm not a jew.
- Thomas.
ps, my mother was 7/10th's jewish but I am from my fathers side of the family.
Jennifer Midlton
Team Gash Burger
My name is Jennifer and I am a lawyer here at Team Gunston. I share an office with Michelle Johnson, the head of "Team Birth Hatch". I've seen the pictures that Wayne Gunston sends to her computer and as a qualified lawyer I can safely say that those pictures are NOT legal. I would lodge a formal complaint with my labour union but a 1.) the Gunstons own the unions in this town and get on the piss with the union bosses regularly and 2.) Gene Gunston stole my computer and left me with a sheaf of big bits of paper to write my shit down on, as seen in my picture above and 3.) Trevor Gunston told me if he ever hears me "whinge" again I'll have to go back to being topless in the office.